I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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