In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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