No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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