I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
