No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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