I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize