I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am available for nakedness
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
