Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
