he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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