so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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