I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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