if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
