found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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