I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
