Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
