ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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