I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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