Four minutes until I can fart!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
