Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
