Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You dont lie about slip and slides
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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