How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wish i was in the wii world.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
