She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
