My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
