your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im six kinds of drunk right now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
