Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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