sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize