I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
