when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
