I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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