if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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