Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
