Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
