Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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