So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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