I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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