I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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