Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
