I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
