What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
