So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
