Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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