Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
