nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
