She went from zero to smokin in five shots
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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