Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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