ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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