I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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