She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
