The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
