So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
