They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize