Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
