I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry about my life...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
