he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
BRING THE BAGELS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
