the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
