one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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