yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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