Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
