that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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