so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
