He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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